I've been struggling for happiness for a year now, I've been trying to make things work and pretending that everything will be ok and everything will work out when I stay. But I guess I just put myself to the limit and now I'm just waiting for my battery to shutdown.
I am a working mom, I work 8am to 5pm, I do the same job everyday. I would say that I'm lucky enough to have this kind of job, I only work from 8am to 5pm no over time, weekends off, holidays and most specially I have so much of a free time everyday due to very little duties I have. But all of this isn't giving me the happiness anymore, I felt that I'm not growing, I'm not getting enough for myself and the worst is I'm not becoming who I should be.
I started feeling the unhappiness when I gave birth to my first child I though it was just because I spent 2 months at home and never wanted to leave my child behind, but as the time flies my feelings never change and the more I fought for it the more reasons I get to leave things behind. But I realize that it wasn't really the job I'm not happy to but the people that I'm serving everyday. Maybe I just get tired of taking all the things around me, got tired of hearing the same words and pretending that I'm really a servant of all and trying to please people who doesn't really care of what you do. People often say that if you're not happy with it, then leave but it wasn't that easy for there are things that would suffer and so as the people you love.
Thinking of leaving things behind without another option is like a suicide for me as a mom, I can't afford to see my husband suffer from all my debts and see him working alone to provide for our family. Yet I don't know when will my battery shutsdown and what will happen afterwards, I just hope I'm already debt free before it happens.
I wish I can pay all the debt I have right now and when it happens I would be sending my resignation right away and try to give all my energy,time and effort to people who will forever be with me and knows how to appreciate me no matter what.
I am a working mom, I work 8am to 5pm, I do the same job everyday. I would say that I'm lucky enough to have this kind of job, I only work from 8am to 5pm no over time, weekends off, holidays and most specially I have so much of a free time everyday due to very little duties I have. But all of this isn't giving me the happiness anymore, I felt that I'm not growing, I'm not getting enough for myself and the worst is I'm not becoming who I should be.
I started feeling the unhappiness when I gave birth to my first child I though it was just because I spent 2 months at home and never wanted to leave my child behind, but as the time flies my feelings never change and the more I fought for it the more reasons I get to leave things behind. But I realize that it wasn't really the job I'm not happy to but the people that I'm serving everyday. Maybe I just get tired of taking all the things around me, got tired of hearing the same words and pretending that I'm really a servant of all and trying to please people who doesn't really care of what you do. People often say that if you're not happy with it, then leave but it wasn't that easy for there are things that would suffer and so as the people you love.
Thinking of leaving things behind without another option is like a suicide for me as a mom, I can't afford to see my husband suffer from all my debts and see him working alone to provide for our family. Yet I don't know when will my battery shutsdown and what will happen afterwards, I just hope I'm already debt free before it happens.
I wish I can pay all the debt I have right now and when it happens I would be sending my resignation right away and try to give all my energy,time and effort to people who will forever be with me and knows how to appreciate me no matter what.
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